Thursday, September 2, 2010

No words.....

I had to go to the doc today. Seems like the air in the airplane didn't do my lungs too much good and I was slowly headed for a case of Bronchitis...I wanted to head if off, I get it so easy now since I had a severe case of it two yrs ago and landed in a hospital for four days. The doc seemed to think that the air in the plane was the culprit..says it happens quite often in Bronchitis/Asthma sufferers that take extended flights...(glad Carter and Caden, both Asthma sufferers, have shown no problems...that I know of)....Anyways, the nurse came in and asked what was the problem, and after I told her, she asked me about the baby...how was our trip...etc. I let her finish asking her questions, she was rapidly asking them...and I told her what happened....I wasn't prepared for her response...."oh well, there'll be another one to come along someday"...like we had been waiting on a taxi....I just looked at her..I couldn't respond at first...what do you say to that? Rather than give her a lengthy speech on how there could be no one to replace this one, that we didn't want a replacement...yada yada, I just quietly told her I didn't want to talk about it. She quickly apologized and left the room. I know, I know.....I can't blame people for not knowing what to say.... but sometimes, if you just have to say something, it's best to just say "i'm sorry" and leave it at that..."we'll be praying for you"...are words of comfort, support and love...and are priceless during a situation such as this...well, during any sad/bad situation.... But like I said in my earlier post..we have no words to offer as an explanation....so most likely all you'll get in return is a heartfelt "Thank You".......
I thought of Crimsyn more today than yesterday...cause he is probably out of the hospital by now..but we don't know where he is..(unless they heard something last night)....I pray that he isn't at the park...that he and his birthmother are at a shelter...such as that will be...at least they would have a roof over their head and she could get some help to get over the C-section. I hope he has clean clothes, clean diapers and enough milk to fill his little tummy...it is torture not knowing....

3 comments:

  1. I think about Crimsyn alot to and today as I was thinking about him I just asked the lord that if he was hungry to fill him up, if he was hot to cool him down, if he was cold to warm him up and my next thought was the lord does that for all those children out there like that. I am greatly sorry for your loss and pray for you guys daily, afterall you are family and I love you so much and can't believe this has happen but as we serve such a wonderful God he can't help but let something work out. Your in my prayers!

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  2. Thank you so much for your comment Kendra, I burst into tears when I read it.... to think that someone else has asked the Lord to do those things for him...I know others are praying, but to actually hear that just touched my heart so.....thank you again so much...We love you as well...and this has only endeared you to me even more.

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  3. I understand the emotion you describe here so well. After my babies died, so many people just seemed to want to forget those little graves at Hytop and say "there'll be another one". . .and yes, I had ALL THE WRONG feelings toward those people. And I would look around at people taking for granted the health and existence of their precious children and I had ALL THE WRONG feelings toward those people. We are human. He understands. (Thank goodness.) I have thought this week that your situation is worse than mine was - as I prayed for God to take care of Crimsyn - because I knew my children and grandchild weren't suffering. But then again I had no hope of ever seeing them again. And I'm sure some moments that is welcome hope and some moments it is just torment of what the future might bring. *sigh* That's when He always reminds me that He kept and cared for Resiana, and when His time was right, He brought her to ya'll. Please don't second guess your part in this process - your part was full of Godly love as it should have been - somehow this circumstance is all part of His perfect plan. We have all learned and been humbled by the sacrifice and love shown by your family for God's creation - even though it was WAY outside the little circle of family and friends we sometimes get comfortable with and forget that He commanded us to shed that love abroad. . .your experiences (good and sad) have taught us all things I believe HE wanted us to know. And, thankfully, He prepared words of comfort for us, and a SPIRIT of comfort for us, because he knew there would be times like this. I have taken comfort in the fact that He KNEW there would be terrible heartache - if He had not known, He would not have given so many wonderful instructions and words of comfort in the Bible. His eyes are on the sparrow. . .and the hairs on your head are numbered. . .I believe those things. I believe He will care for Crimsyn - and I have hope He may send him back to his family here. We love you - we are praying for you all.

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