Stunned........

I'm sitting here at the computer, ready to update my blog, and words have failed me. I don't know what to say. I can't think of the right words to say to make anything better. I don't know if any such words exist. The only way I know that things will be right, would be to go back to Honolulu and pick up Crimsyn and bring him home. I feel like in time, he will come back to us. But at the same time I wonder, was it not His will? How could we have not known His will? I prayed for it. I am quite sure the kids did as well....what did we miss? Did we want this so bad that we overlooked any signs...went past a feeling?? I don't guess it's wise to question things, but since i'm struggling for the words that make it understandable, i'm left to write my thoughts....There is one thing I do know for sure...He will do us right. He knows we are human, and we make mistakes, handle things wrong, overlook signs and feelings...and that we love Him. And we want what's right...it's just very hard to accept that Crimsyn isn't part of His will for our family. Down deep, I am expecting the kids to call at anytime and tell us that it has worked out, and that everything is in order and there can be no changing of minds. I am not a very overly affectionate person on the outside, I am quite reserved ( I think) in that dept..and sometimes I wish I could be different....but make no mistake...I love that baby. I still do. I've never touched him, I didn't get to hold him, or kiss him...I could only look at him thru the glass window...I didn't get to tell him I was his Granny, but he is my grandson, and unless the Lord tells me it's not His will, I will try to do all I can, albeit thru prayer, money, love, sacrifices....whatever it takes to bring him home to his family....Granny loves you Crimsyn..XO

He's On His Way!

Slick and Crystal just got back from taking the birthmother for her Dr visit today. Her sugar is unstable, which isn't good for her or the baby, so they have made the decision to induce labor tonight at 7pm Hawaii time, which is midnight Ala time. Tomorrow (28th) is Slick's birthday, so if he takes long enough to get here, he will share his Daddy's b-day...which causes me to go back 36 yrs ago tonight...I was in the hospital in the most agonizing pain I had ever experienced.there were no epidurals back then...just to get this lil bald headed, squalling young'un we came to call Anthony Michael ...aka Slick...28 hrs it took to get him here..(did I mention no pain relief available back then..lol)...but he was worth every minute of it...we love you Slicky, and hope only the best for you and Crystal tonight as we wait on the newest member of our family to arrive!

Patiently waiting.....

Well it's the beginning of day three here, and i'm the only one up right now. Still kinda mixed up on my hours, but the others seem to have it down pat. I'm sunburned pretty bad on my face and neck and it kinda kept me awake last night, as did the million thoughts that were running thru my mind...so here I am, up, and wondering what today will hold. I hope we get news that our baby is on its way...there are several family members here, and I know they will be disappointed if they have to return home and miss his birth...but they are having a great time waiting! I am going to look into some Luau's..we all want to go to one. I would love to do some more sight seeing...island hop to the island that Carter is from...there is just so much to do. It's kinda hard to plan anything too far ahead tho because you never know when the baby will decide to come...I've done real good with my knees the past 2 days..i've done a lot of walking. Been in some unreal pain by the end of the day, but i'm trying to keep up. We went to Pearl Harbor yesterday so Kristen could get a school report in. She has to do 2 reports for missing school. It was a sombering experience..we went to the Arizona Memorial where there are still something like 1177 men still entombed in the ship..this memorial was actually built over the ship..you could see it..and could still see oil on the water where the ship is still leaking..and could still smell a burned smell from where the ship was in flames....just knowing those men were still below brought a sombering feeling to you....we then headed down to Honolulu and Waikiki...shopped at the International MarketPlace, drove on up to the ritzy side of the island where the big shots live...saw signs on the road that asked people not to disturb the owners...made you wonder if maybe that was where some Hollywood stars lived..they were gated and secluded...went to Diamond Head saw the crater there...we made a full day of it...I think i'm ready to spend the day at the ocean...with sunscreen this time....lol.

We're Here!

Well ,we've made it thru the first part of the journey. The flight from Dallas to Honolulu was delayed 3 hours, but everyone did fine on the flights and we arrived safely..That was what was most important...we enjoyed an all you can eat breakfast buffet at a place on the ocean. The view was spectacular and the food delicious. Fresh fruit and fruit juices...wow! We all eat til we were stuffed. We stopped and took some great pic's of all us on our walk back to our condo's. Slick and Crystal and going to check on the status of the baby today, and I think we're just gonna hang back on the beach with the kids and let them enjoy one of God's greatest creations, the ocean.....post again later on.....Jo

Ready to Go!

Sis Sherrill has made mention of this song on my blog, and I guess it's kinda fitting seeing that we're just hours away from boarding a plane to begin our journey to Hawaii to get our new grandson. Of course, i'm hoping and praying we have a safe flight there and back..and that everyone does good on the plane and the hours "fly" by...pardon the pun...and yes, it was intended..LOL....We're all packed, and it is 9:30pm Sunday night. We leave for the airport at around 3:45am...Tony is already dressed..ha ha..he says he is gonna stay up and watch TV so he'll be good and sleepy and hopefully can sleep onboard the plane...I'm afraid he is gonna regret that..they are 5 hours behind us..and even with a good nights rest, this trip will be very taxing. When I went with them to get Carter, I didn't think the day would ever end...it kept on staying daylight...but in crossing time zones that go back, you relive those hours over and over again...and then on the way home it's just the opposite...let me tell ya, jet lag is real...it takes a few days to get with Hawaii's schedule, then bout the time you get with it, it's time to come home and reverse what you just worked hard to achieve!...Our first few mornings over there, I was awake at like 2-3 am Hawaii time...but my body was still on Bama time which would have been 7-8am...but being up that early allowed me to witness some of the most amazing sunrises I have ever been priveleged to see. The Sun coming up across the ocean is unbelievably beautiful, and I can't wait to share them with Tony....He wasn't with me last time...and i've told him he has to see at least one with me..lol. And then at night, the sight of the moon shining out on the ocean is so stunning! Hawaii is a beautiful place and i'm so excited to be sharing it with my whole family!...i'm Ready To Go!!

Gonna Be Granny Again!

As most of you probably know by now, we're just days away from heading off to beautiful Hawaii to get the newest addition to the Clark family...I wish I could tell you what his name is gonna be, but as of today, i'm still not sure. Sad that I don't know huh....but I keep asking Slick and he keeps saying he doesn't know....I am thinking it will be Anderson, but we'll see. I am just excited to have another baby in the family..it's been 5 yrs since we've had a baby to enjoy...and this will probably be our last, unless someone else calls them up with a child needing a home...they probably wouldn't be able to tell them no...lol.
Our role as grandparents in the adoption process is just amazing. When we got our grandchildren, from Kristen to Resiana, I can distinctly remember having the thought "You are their Grandmother"....And at that instant, this great love for them found a permanent place in my heart...and when I say permanent, I really mean that...I still hang a stocking on my Christmas tree for Ryan..the little boy that Slick and Crystal got to keep for a couple of weeks before being taken back. And altho it's much easier to handle now, I could cry for him today if i'd let myself...you just don't forget loving someone that much just because you can't be with them...you just don't turn that off. I think of him often this time of year because it's close to when we got him, I still have a pic of him in his Halloween outfit sitting out on my mantle all the time...
We're now all caught up in the anticipation of this baby's birth, and let me stop and add here that with Slick and Crystal's kids we're only talking a few weeks...in Caden's case it was less than 2 weeks I think...not much more than that if any for Carter and Resiana either....lol...this will be our 3rd from Hawaii...my 2nd trip over there...wondering what he's gonna look like, praying he's gonna be healthy, and trying to imagine what kind personality he will be bringing to the family...so far we have a talker, a genius, a comedian, and a humble one...what will this one be like?? Will he be tall and skinny or short and fat??...it really doesn't matter...we'll take him any way he comes to us...just like we did the other grandkids...we're just happy to be getting another addition to our little gang...
We are one excited, thrilled, blessed, scared (of the long flight), sick (Kristen), nervous and soon to be bigger, Hawaii bound family!

10" Nails...

Well ya'll...ole Slicky is wanting me to give the scoop on Erica and her nails....10" nails according to him...and I guess I could see where they'd appear to be that long considering he was only about 6-7 yrs old or something like that...those were her weapons to fight him with...he would pester the fire outta her (course his story is gonna be different) and she'd respond by chasing him down the hall, her claws bared, and if she got to him before I got to her, she'd let him have it with em'...now mind you, her nails were her pride and joy...she loved her fingernails...probably cause she was the only one in our family that had any that were of any length..so she felt kinda superior...LOL...JK Erica, don't go ballistic on me...but once she learned that holding her hand up in a "tiger strike" like fashion caused Slick to go running off hollering for Mama.."Mama, Sissy is after me with her nails"....there was no stopping her...if she caught him, which was most of the time, she'd scratch a plug outta him...I would punish her by cutting her nails...now mind you, when I would do this it would cause her much grief and despair and she would just cry and cry...and scream bloody murder the whole time I was clipping them...you would think she'd learn not to do it again, but, somehow Slick would manage to push her beyond the realms of reason and here she'd go down the hall, claws outstretched, to go after him....it didn't matter if she was justified or not tho..I usually clipped them off....(the times I knew about it anyways)..and I wouldn't doubt it, if he'd admit it, that he carried on once or twice just to get her in trouble so I would clip them...didn't you Slick...yeah, thought so....
Hey Slick, wonder if they'd be interested in hearing about you and your little dance in the hallway???? HA HA HA HA....